Cosmo Dogs, Beach Town, USA.

4.21.11.

[5:20 p.m.]

Jack's Cosmo Dogs.

Everything you're probably imagining and more. Blimps hanging from the ceiling with the printed logo. Paintings of hot dogs in space cars. Two huge rockets as the pillars for the sign out in front. Screaming children. 90's alt. rock. Overly-friendly grunge boy workers. I just filled my body with a Cosmo Dog, cheese fries and a Draft Root Beer Float.

Yes, folks. Beach Town, U.S.A.

My stomach already hates me.

My stomach can just get over it.

Two Prayers in Solitude: Tea Break & A Lonely Room.

How long will we continue to ignore You, my God? Especially I, though outwardly giving an impression of put-togetherness, inwardly and privately do not run to You as I should.

I worry before I trust. I worry far too long before I trust.

I speak before I bring it to Your feet. I speak far too long before I bring it to Your feet.

I fear before I leap. I take far too many steps in fear before I take bounding leaps of faith.

Even a tiptoe of faith might help, but no. Fear drives me away, holds me shaking - bound to one place rather than into the passionate, unknown of my God, my Mystery, my Love.

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Lord, I ask that You quiet my heart in this moment.

Push aside what You will so that I may see You in the ways You reveal Yourself to me.

If I am to go, send me.

If I am to stay, steady my feet.

If I am to speak, give me words.

If I am to be quiet, steady my tongue.

Only You know my heart.